and its effect in marriages.
Infertility are enormous and cannot be overemphasized in this day and age especially that the focus is usually on women however it affect both men and women equally.
Read the real life excerpt, it might help someone;
1. “It’s hard to conceive” – Mobola Adegun
You never know until you try to conceive, but for some couples, getting pregnant can be extremely tough. If that’s how it is for you, you’re not alone…Mobola was 34, happily married for eight years and trying for a baby for the last seven when she met with doctor Teresa (a fertility doctor at Nordica fertility clinic) and told her about her struggles of trying to have a child.
“I’ve been told I’m infertile, but there’s nothing physically wrong with me or my husband. We’ve had all the tests, and they all came back good; we just haven’t conceived yet said Mobola” and then she broke into tears.
It was obvious she has gone through a lot having tried for nine whole years as stress reflected in her face even one can tell looking at her pale and fragile skin.
She and her husband have been told by more than a doctor that they are infertile at various fertility clinic.
Below are excerpt of all she said;
Why do people asked me questions of “why? when? are you going to have children?’ this hurt deep down my soul especially knowing that i have no medical issue.
I love children and i have been married for eight years. But if only the enquirers knew what torture these seven words are to me. I’ve learnt to lie politely that ‘We are not ready to try yet’ But the angry, hurt and irrational side of me wants to smash their inquisitive face with my fist.
“But how can I tell these apparently super-fertile people about my inability to conceive? I know they are super-fertile, because people delight in telling others how quickly they fell pregnant especially my supervisor who had twins at the time. I find myself losing my self esteem and drifting from my friends as they embark on a new phase of their lives that I can’t follow.
“How can I tell them about The Waiting? how can i tell them i have gone through series of unimaginable,pain stricken medical test which includes HSG-(hysterosalpingogram).
an invasive test to check that the fallopian tubes are not blocked)?. That every month for over a year, two weeks of each month are torture for me as I wait to see if perhaps this month, things have worked. And just in case they have, staying off lot of my favorite foods e.g Soy bean, smoked salmon and red wine e.t.c. But the double line on the pregnancy test never appears and I am left with a bitter taste in my mouth and my bin with several predict pregnancy test kit.
“Now I face IVF and I’m petrified. What if it doesn’t work? Where do we go from here?
Walah! it failed and failed me four times.
“And the worst of all of this? I don’t even know why I want children but i know i love kids. I can only describe it as a desperate longing inside me, a physical ache. ‘So, when are you going to have children?’ hurts so much I can barely breathe for the pain. But I smile, reply, turn away and carry on desperately hoping that maybe, just maybe, this cycle will be the one.”
My in-laws are all over me and the only song i hear from them all is “when are you having A’boy for us”, imagine not even A’girl not even for me nor my husband but for “us”.
At a point it became so bad and shameful that i reverted into myself, no friends visit, no church, no function, i just want to be alone all the time.
My husband complains all the time,we fight and settle but i bless God for a good man who stood by me in all of this moody moments.
It got so bad that i wanted to end it but then God intervened and here i am today after four failed IVF, my boys (twins) are here.Mobola Adegun, 34,Ilorin.
2. Having kids became an issue -Anonymous poster
Hi date103….., good job you are doing, please share my story but keep me anon. cos of my status….. I was born with silver spoon and well brought up. I am a beautiful and classic woman with a well paid profession, I am also a serial entrepreneur and a successful one at that but THEN I don’t feel fulfilled. The only thing I so desire became an hard nut.
I finished my masters from Oxfordshire in 2011, met my husband at a pub while I was going through heartbreak back then in oxford, I didn’t love him even till date but I like him because he’s a very good person.
All the families loved me so I married him even though I didn’t love him (thought my likeness can take me there) but NO.
Fast track to after marriage, having kids became an issue because he has low sperm count, it wasn’t an issue to him so he wasn’t ready to work on it, anything the doctor says he does otherwise but it gives me sleepless night cos I love kids and i have always love to have kids on time because I have fibroid, which is why i even married him without love but then how do I achieve my dream.
I became a shadow of myself within one year because I was tagged infertile. colleagues,friends and foes whispers and gossip about my situation when i pass. i couldn’t bear it, I lost my beauty as I watched and see my hope been dashed each month I see my period. Then we opted for IVF which failed, the pain from the injection,the psychological effect ,time and money left me traumatized for months but then I had faith.
All of a sudden my faith was dashed as my husband woke up one morning and showed me ticket that he will be leaving for Australia in search of money.
Please who’s asking for money, why did he not discuss with me,why the sudden travel? I asked so many questions without answer.
He left me for close to two years amid all the pains then he came home after 19months but then I met my Ex. at a function we both attended, one thing lead to the other, we made out and Walah! I got pregnant.
I have become the happiest woman ever since I got the news.
1. Please should I tell my ex about the baby?
2. Do I tell my husband that he’s not the father of my child?
4. Or keep quiet and let him father a child he doesn’t own?
because I’m not ready to give up a child i have looked for all my life.
I will be at the comment section….